Movin' Out...

No…not out of my house, not getting separated or divorced--nothing like that…maybe a more appropriate title would have been, Johnny Paycheck's "Take This Job and Shove It" instead of Billy Joel's "Movin' Out", but I happen to like Billy Joel better.

Anyhow…

I gots me some learning to do…besides grammatical, sheesh. 

I know that!

I have relatively recently (and this is kind of a smack myself, I coulda had a V-8 moment) realized I am the very much  a ‘mood sponge’ and with all of the negativity spewed forth in my little office/cubbie space—I am a great listener, which is why everyone comes to see me—it is no wonder at all that I am feeling the hate.  Not that they hate me, but the combined force of their discourses seems to be forming my mood lately. I had too much consideration of how they were feeling and not enough worry about how I was doing.

Poor Tripp usually gets the i.m.’ed brunt of my dissatisfaction too…at least he realizes it’s not aimed AT him.  He’s pretty smart that way and really, just knowing he’s there takes much of the edge off.  It’s particularly difficult for me to feel like that because I really am an ‘up’ person with enough positive energy to go around.  Or so I thought…damned leeches just drain me too much anymore.

I guess when I realized this, I decided to work on being a filter instead of sponge…rather than soaking it all in, I needed to sift out the crap so it didn’t come in.  I had to be less sensitive to everyone else’s words and general mood, lest I get caught up in the drama.  I was guilty of it…at work more than anywhere else, and it led to a disproportionate dissatisfaction with my own job.

This is where the setting of a certain goal came in (and Tripp, baby…just think how awesome it will be for us when it happens!!), and I just keep that goal in the front of my mind when they come to have a little one on one.  Part of this goal entails some serious studying/learning on my part—and some of that is on recorded books.  Plugging into the headphones on the Kindle while doing mindless work has done wonders for being left alone except for actual work related stuff. 

Being this ‘new’ person with a clear vision of a goal is helping me tremendously in becoming a better filter.  I also remembered that going with and trusting my own instincts while not necessarily disregarding ‘suggestions’ out of hand is keeping me much better balanced, and I have realized that a good number of the people who are aware of where I am going with this goal are not really rooting for my success.  Not that it would take away a single thing from any of them, they just don’t seem to be happy that I am going on to be in a better place than where I am currently.

Some think its taking an unnecessary ‘risk’, that I should stay in my current career because its ‘safe’ and for all intents and purposes, its stable (HAH!).  I can’t even call what I do a career—there is no title on the entire web that matches what I do.  Not that makes the job special, my God, not at all…I promise you, a 12 year old (slightly prodigious) with good phone skills could do my job.

Psssht—they can think what they want, cower like bunnies in the shrubs, never take a chance…they won’t be the ones to hold me back…but, hey, they can miss me when I am gone.

Just sayin’