Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever even be a reasonable facsimile of the who that was me. I miss me... the me before he dropped this whole motherfucking shitstorm on my head...
The closer the day draws to the impending new parenthood of Tripp and the bar whore, the more lost and anxious feeling I get. My therapist agrees that I should be alone when the day comes so I can be as angry and sad as I want to be without causing collateral damage to those around me (Lord knows that I know what being collateral damage feels like)...I doubt anything will help simply because I want to punch the fuck out of someone or something just thinking about it... I've already trashed two old softball bats beating my anger out (on the plus side, my hitting distance has improved greatly...)
But, I'm surrounding myself with the people who love me and make time for me and allow me to be whatever emotion I am at that time without making me feel bad for having that emotion... I'm allowed to be mother fucking angry, or sad, or happy... I'm not going to check my feelings to spare yours. I'm done squelching my emotions... I'm absolutely going to feel what I feel and if that doesn't work for you, then stay the hell away from me.
Just sayin'
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