Sometimes Support Comes From the Strangest Places...

I received this in a text from my husband today.

I cried.

He has, strangely enough, been my support system through this shitstorm.

It's awkward for me, to say the least.

But it is appreciated none-the-less.

He absolutely hates that my heart has been broken in such a manner.

It's devastating to him to see me cry & in so much pain.

But, he also understands because I have broken his heart in a similar fashion.

It's this understanding that may bridge the divide.

He knows he's fallen short on many of those things listed.

I freely admit I have as well...

He acknowledges where he has 'failed' in this equation.

He has always been honest and transparent (to a painful fault).

He has been, and remains, loyal and has never abused my trust...even in his darkest moments.

He has always loved me--even at my worst--in his own way.

And even at this, our lowest point ever in almost 34 years, he hasn't walked away...

...and has shown me unwavering patience & love through this whole process.

He is, and has been, the ONLY man in my life to fight FOR me, and I'm not referring to physical altercations...

(a partial "reason" as to why I am in therapy...just sayin') 

And he is fighting mightily for me...

...and for us.

To create a new normal.

He wants to us, to be "US" again, to be the dynamic couple we used to be.

To be happy again, together.

Not to settle--never to settle for less than what we deserve.

And if, at the end of the day,  we decide we are only as friends--then so be it.

Right now though, I have to get my own damn self in order (thus the therapy).  He's also in therapy to get himself in order.

What then?

Who knows?

All I know for certain is moving forward from the shit storm, while liberating in a sense, still has the weight of the world on my shoulders.

* sigh *