Catching Up

Hey there—

Can I tell you something?  Of course I can...my blog, my rules.  You don't have to continue reading though.  

You do have choices you know. 

Two and a half years ago, I got dealt a pretty significant and emotionally devastating hand (most of you know that part).

What you may not know is that on the day my so called life ended, (A tiny bit melodramatic much?  LOL!)  I remember feeling like there was not a single person that could possibly know the kind of utter devastation and heartbreak I was feeling. 

Here’s the thing.

I was wrong.

The truth is, most people know what this feels like at least once in their lives. I’m sure you can think of a time when you were lied to,  or betrayed,  or jerked around, or left or abandoned,  or thrust into some new something you didn't want and never asked for.

Maybe you had to let go of something you didn't want to lose—or someone you loved and thought you'd never survive without.

In the worst of my heartbreak, I made plenty of mistakes,  but I also did so many right things for me things that helped.

I went to the gym,  took lots of power walks in the city in moved to,  started therapy,  read all the books and prayed and meditated…yada,  yada, etc, etc.

I sat around on the couch,  or laying in bed, crying... and may have eaten my weight in oreos and drank my way thru a veritable river of vodka (hey, it helped at the time even if it wasn't the healthiest of options).

But do you want to do know the ONE thing that helped me heal more than anything else?

Writing.  

Here.  

In journals.  

On napkins in a restaurant--ok... this was my way of releasing the angry words and throwing them out when I left... Metaphorically pitching the bad feelings into the trash. 

Done and done. 

Yes, it might sound a little crazy. But research shows its not so crazy after all. In fact, the research shows writing is one of the most powerful ways to heal from heartbreak, reduce anxiety, curb depression, implement new habits and generate positive change in your life.

And here you thought I was just yammering on to hear myself talk.

Anyhow, as for the catching up part... It was more just to wave and say hello.  Tripp and I still talk on the regular.   I have the ability to listen to him talk about things that would have set me off not too long ago...as I explained to him again today: When you love someone,  you are there for them in good times and bad,  in the ups and the downs,  and through heaven and hell.

What else is there if not an enduring love and care for someone who still means so much?

Its been ages since we've seen each other face to face.  It'll be ages before we will again,  I suspect.   If ever really,  if I'm being honest... there are big changes coming up in his life...he made a comment to me ever so long ago regarding one of these changes that makes me believe we may not,  unless its by accident.

Who is to say?  The universe is a fickle,  and sometimes funny, asshole.   Guess only time will tell.

Peace homies... Til next time.