The truth is rarely pure and never simple. ~Oscar Wilde~
Why does Valentine's Day have to exist??
You know, because love isn't complicated enough as it is.
Especially when that love involves someone other than your spouse.
And I defy this holiday by shaking my fist and yelling, "Fuck you, Cupid! You have a shitty sense of humor!"
How does one explain the stupid, the irrational, and the inconceivable?
Not with the truth, that's for sure.
Honesty isn't always the high road, and lying isn't always the low road. You can't have both—unless you're hiking I suppose.
Fuck me, but I never thought I'd let it happen to me again.
How do we allow feelings to happen in a relationship that was born on the premise of 'just looking for a good time--no strings attached' and 'just friends'?
It isn't just me though…he is in a similar place.
It's not fair.
We had rules in place going in to this…how did this happen?
And why did it have to happen?
Neither of us has dropped the "L" word…we talk around the fucking elephant in the room.
We're both afraid that by doing so, we will create an irreparable shift…whether it be at home, or with each other…undefined simply because we don't discuss it directly.
Afraid that to acknowledge it will make it somehow more real.
Afraid that to acknowledge it will make it somehow more real.
Fearful that should we talk about it, life as we know it would collapse around our ears…even though we both do love our spouses and have no intention of leaving them (especially not him—he has young kids and I would cut off my right arm before ever taking a daddy away from his kids—except for the few hours we steal here and there…)
I read somewhere something rather fitting…"if I were Spock from "Star Trek," I would explain that human love is a combination of three emotions or impulses: desire, vulnerability and bravery. Desire makes one feel vulnerable, which then requires one to be brave."
So—what to do?
Anyone can have it.
All it requires is a little bravery.
Or a lot.
This is my test.
So I continue to do what I do best.
I cheat…on my husband and in love.
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!!
Just sayin'.
Nobody who's been there can blame you for letting emotion creep in. As much as we try to make it just sex, the fact is that sex is a pretty emotional thing. And the getting to know you phase you have to go through, to find out if you have that initial attraction in the first place, also builds up to that emotion. Everything about this situation makes emotion likely to happen, when you find someone you really connect with.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.
I blame me though Letch. I have managed to maintain a measure of emotional distance since 'he who must not be named' broke me and my heart. I guess I should have tied the laces of love a little tighter...I seem to have 'Tripp'ed over them. LOL!
ReplyDeleteI expect it does happen more often, but those involved are in denial, either because it's a one-way street or have seen enough of the ultimate heartache that others in similar situations have gone through (hell ther's a bazillion blogs on THAT alone).
Oh well. I will just wrap it up neatly, put a pretty bow on it, and tuck it away in it's special little compartment in my head. I am, after all, a near master at compartmentalization.
<3 you friend. :)